On starting my own show . . . or, er, maybe not

So, when I actually made my film on the McCloud River, I built a whole array of jibs, steady-cams and cable-runners to accomplish the pseudo-epic shots I got with my GoPro.

Now, I just need a mount for my iPhone 6. And I can’t find one. Yet.  But I will.  I’d like to start. I’d like to start because, despite the fact that I look like a fiber-optic chia pet with pasty, pachydermatic skin, and a row of bottom teeth that look like an aerial view of Stonehenge–I’d like to start vlogging a bit.  if not start my own show outright.

Actually, the idea came from my teenage daughter, who likes to watch Blimey Cow:

and Good Mythical Morning:

She said, “hey dad, why don’t you and I co-host our own show, where we can talk about topical issues.”

I thought to myself. Wow.  This beautiful, mercurial, and completely beholden to the turns of hormonal teenage  fluctuations wants to do a show with dad.  That’s remarkable, since she never wants to be seen with me.

The next day, I asked her”

“You still want to do that show?”

“Yes,” she said.

Then a moment later:

“Dad, are you going to tell people about our show?”

“um … well, I was thinking that having a show meant having people to show it to, yes.”

“Never mind then.”

And the car goes right into the crowd. We’ll see. In the meantime, I’m making a cool opening trailer for. . . I guess whatever it is I’m going to be trying next.  Adobe, here I come again. But until then, enjoy this video of me being hit by a car:

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Storming the castle–my first foray into Adobe After Effects

First off, watch this:

This little “movie preview” had a two-fold purpose to it.  The first, was to do something cool for my very good friend, Tim, who is a Marine, and his little boy, Chace.

Second, I needed a rationale–a reason to experiment with my new Gopro camera and the subsequent editing issues.  So I hauled my gritty, DIY equipment out to the neighboring-and-previously-lived-in-by-me Bella Vista, Ca., and shot the footage for this.

Basically the idea was to have them”run around with guns” in various ways.  I had no idea what I was going to do with the footage.  The only thing I thought I might do is the part with the suspended muzzle-shot and shell, which of course was hashed out by me in this clip here first:

As an aside, no Clara is not pointing anything other than a Red Rider bb gun at the camera.  I wanted her to use my .410 shotgun, butI figured, living in a residential neighborhood, along with the fact that I have my own nefarious Gladys Kravitz living across the street, I better just dispense with that temptation.

So, as a note, the movie trailer thing only hit me when I realized I didn’t have enough footage to make anything cohesive as a story arc–so instead, I created a synoptic cut-across – to story that does not exist.

It’s obvious, if you’ve seen my fly-fishing film, that the helicopter is an .obj composite (technical term–just think”fake”)–it isn’t real.  But I did my dead-level best to make it real.  The mine blast is horribly done by me, but hey, I can only try to channel Andrew Kramer so far before I start running with a wheel in the sand.

My favorite part of the clip is this:

Screen Shot 2015-04-02 at 9.48.43 AMMy reason for this is … well, because before this scene came to fruition, the raw footage looked like this:

Screen Shot 2015-04-02 at 9.52.13 AM

That’s right.  EVERYTHING in film is a lie. I decided–since my friend Tim likes to say “have fun storming the castle!” to put Preston Castle in the film.  And believe me, getting it masked into the tree line was no mean feat.  It took me hours to key out that sky and put another one in.

The helicopter was a piece of cake, after all that.

Anyway. I just thought someone might find this interesting.  I now notice everything in film, in fact I’m actually distracted by the things I know were altered, since my brain is now thinking artistically, instead of at he consumer level.  At least with video, which is okay with me, because I feel no great loss from “not having seen” movies anyway.

Posted in Film Making, Writing | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

A gratuitous re-post of my film

See, here’s the thing about running your own blog.  Theoretically, I could post my epic fly-fishing film short Tenkara and the Man Card every single day.

But really, what I am going to gain by doing that?  You’ll get sick and tired of my posting it.  I’ll get sick and tired of posting it.  But also, it starts to become intellectually incestuous for me to do this, because it’s like me selling tickets to a Super Bowl in which I am also the only player.

However, there is an ulterior motive for me to do this,  I need some kind of over-the-top accelerant to goad An Opinionated Man into letting me guest blog on his site.  He’s got 50,000 followers.  He’s got chops.  He’s got a prolific posting finger that just doesn’t stop.  Homie’s got his finger on the pulse of a grip of urban killas!

So I figure, if I can convince him to watch my eleven minutes of rhetorical sausage-making, he’ll assume I’m the expositional heir-apparent to Anthony Bourdain, and bring me on board.

Nuff said. Quoth the Maven:

Posted in Film Making, Fly Tying | Tagged | 7 Comments

Tenkara and Flies (TAF)–a tutorial. Soon.

I’ve discovered something.

With just one iphone app, I can practically replicate Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit trilogy, including onboard cgi, masking, and roto-scoping.

Or, I can make a fly-tying video that might look cool, without having to go a thousand dollars for a DSLR right now.

So tomorrow, I might just post a video of a short, easy tutorial of this fly–which I haven’t named yet. Also this fly looks horrible, because I was hastily tying one to look interstitial *— you know “mid tie,” so I could grab a screen shot of what the footage will look like.  besides, it looks all rustic and productive for me to take a shot like that.

If you are looking into making a film, using only an iPhone, the app called Filmic Pro is what you want. It has controls over white balance, focus and lighting that you can lock into place for each scene.

Don’t believe me? That a film of decent grade is possible?   Watch me. Soon enough you will see.

* Okay, look.  I know that “interstitial ” probably doesn’t apply here.  Chances are, you were too busy to run up a separate tab and Google it anyway.  I could have just left the word lying there and not said a word.  But that’s not me.  
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Tapping the famous on the shoulder

So . . . I’ve got a few famous friends out there that, for some odd reason or another, manage to associate with me against their better judgement, despite the fact that I bring nothing to the game except for obscurity and blandness.

Some of them are musicians.  Some of them are writers.  Some of them are actors.

Some them are in prison.

Okay, maybe I’m going a bit too far with the whole “sophisticated street cred” thing.

I’m hoping to conduct some interviews–about the creative process, about the inspirational flashpoints–about anything in general.  I’m hoping that I can prevail upon them from time to time, and create a specific feature here–a reference point for those looking to further their own careers.

I have not–nor will I–ask any of them to “give me a shout out” as an artificial way to gain followers.  I’m not Stedman.  I’m not Ed McMahon.  I’m certainly not “that lady” . . . you know, “Oprah’s best friend.”

But I do hope my proximity can help me pay a few things forward.  Who knows, I probably stand to gain the most, since I never do get to ask these questions very often anyway.

And besides, ONE of them is going to have to tell me how to get my Taylor 314 CE to the Philippines.

I’m even petitioning a few people I admire, whom I have never met, just to see if they will leave their first estate, come down off Mt. Olympus, and meet with a crusty serf for a while.

Anyway.  It’s worth a try.  Even the rejections can be worth noting–subtly, of course.  I ain’t no dry snitch.

 

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Backyard Jammin

 

 Playing the Uke today. Because I suddenly feel like it. 

Now to the fly shop, where I can engage in the trite, anticipatory chatter about rivers, bears, and maybe Sasquatch gamesmanship.

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Gainful Unemployment

Recently, I wrote a piece, called The Long Travail, dealing the yawning gulf between work and . . . well, sanity. I think Local Nomads understands me completely.

Enjoy their piece: GAINFUL UNEMPLOYMENT.

PhotographyGMG's avatarLocal Nomads

You know that feeling you get a few days before a long weekend or vacation? It’s okay, you may have to really think about this if it has been a while since you’ve had some vacation time; but you know what I’m talking about… When you’re in the office, or at one of your part time jobs, no matter what you have to deal with in these next few days, nothing can bring you down. In a few days, you’ll be out of there. “Sure, I can clean those nasty toilets”, ” I can totally stay an extra half hour to help this sweet old lady file her paperwork” (while she berates ME about how my company is out to get “her generation”) “Yeah Bob, I can absolutely restock all the glassware, liquor, beer and wine, and sweep, mop and dust every room”. Because in a just a few…

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Liebster Award: answered, and passed long

LiebsterAward-2

Okay, I’ve gone through the list of questions posed to me by Minah, at SeoSundays.  I say me, but really it was me, along with ten other bloggers.  That, of course is what I’m going to do here in a few minutes.

But first, a brief rundown of my general, maladjusted psychological profile:

1) What is love to you?

Wow. Right out of the gate, I’m going to have to take my tiny little brain and encapsulate something so . . . unencapsulatable. Love to me, is reflected in sacrifice.  We can say we love, and sometimes love is a true, captivating vehicle of fairy-tale proportions for a while, but ultimately is becomes an active choice.  I’m not one that believes–in a sort of cinematic sense–that love is this all encompassing hostage-taker that disallows a contrary opinion.  In reality, love is something that should be the reason we are willing to go the long haul for another.  Or in some cases, give our very lives. Ultimately, love never fails–even if we do.

2) What is your story?

I’m 47 years old, and have been blessed with a myriad of talents. I’ve wasted them on fruitless pursuits throughout the years, and now–screeching into middle-age, I’m not only trying to rectify some of that by re-calibrating my scopes, but trying to perhaps–for the first time in my life–be involved in taking  care of my family with pursuits I love.  I do not love my current job at all–in any form.  Even though it pays “well,” I am ultimately left feeling vacant–as if I am tasked with trying to throw Helium down a hallway.

3) What’s your favorite quote?

This–again–forces me to take a paring knife to 47 years of sage wisdom from others. But, I guess if I had to step out with one for now, it would be “If I find in myself, desires nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.”–CS Lewis

4) If you could be anyone for a day, who would you be?

I would be the editor of a ragingly-sucessful publication, and would then use that day to hire me onto staff when I wasn’t that person anymore.

5) Underwater exploring or space navigating?

Oh, well . . . I guess space.  But that’s mainly because I have an epic fear of water. Not a debilitating fear, but just the kind that has to get over all kinds of psychological humps in order to be comfortable snorkeling in Hawaii.  Swimming pools?  Easy.  Underwater lava tubes–nope.  I’d rather risk being cooked alive in the Van Allen Radiation belt and then suffering a hypothermic onslaught in the unknown than get stuck 300 feet underwater with a flagging 02 reading.

6) Where do you think you’ll be in the next five years?

Hopefully using my guitar and writing abilities to see a little more of the world.  Israel, Brazil . . . the Philippines.  I’d certainly like to be completely devoid of anything that remotely involves working for in-custody Probation.  I got injured in a fight recently,and I’m lucky my hand is healing up. I’d rather use that hand for creative purposes instead of adversarial ones. I have faith that all this will happen . . . one day.

7) Who or what’s your life inspiration?

My life’s inspiration is from God.  of course I could leave that sentence lay there generically and walk away, without ever actually taking on the Name of Jesus–but what risk is there in bald genericism? Christ encapsulates–to my mind–the only cohesive worldview that meets several criteria.  He is also the only worldview in which the “self” is reduced off of its narcissistic paths and replaced with sacrifice. He came here and did it.  

8) What’s your favorite pastime?

I love playing music, and singing.  Writing comes easy, and I quite like it a lot.  In all actuality, I’d say reading, but some kind of after-market glitch in my brain keeps me from falling too far into any one book without feeling like I’m on the Asberger’s spectrum.  I don’t know what it is, but anyway.  Fly fishing is amazing.  But that is also because I find rivers to be fascinating anyway.  They draw life to them.  They represent hope.

9) What’s your spirit animal?

This is perhaps the question that I am least prepared to answer, mainly because this isn’t something I ever reference in my own life–like horoscopes,and such.  But if I was to draw a comparative, I’d have to say a Jack Russell Terrier–because they are bizarre, and get fixated on things.  They have good memories, and I guess are “smart,” which of course I hope I am.  They are probably also easy to potty-train, which, referentially, I also think I have a good track record of not soiling the carpet around here 🙂

10) What’s your life worth living for?

Preparing my children to understand the temporal nature of this world.  It’s all going to burn one day,and if we have our sights set on the next one–if we truly do, then we will see it.  But while we are here, we are to operate as best we can. Sometimes we fall–I know I do.  Where we go from there is what matters.

11) Best advice you’ve ever received.

“Keep your mouth shut.”

_________

In a few minutes, I will nominate eleven others to run the gauntlet–if they’d like.  Chances are, some of them have done it before.  Some of them are so busy taking comments and traffic, that maybe this is a bit too much for now.  I know I happen to appreciate the chance to engage in outreach.  So I’m okay if my pitiful supplications are rejected out of hand.

My questions thus:

1) If you had the chance for anyone on earth to read a book you’ve written, who would it be?

2) What gives you a sense of hope in life?

3) If you were the last living member of your family, would you venture a one-way ticket to Mars?

4) Have you ever talked your way out of a traffic ticket?

5) Favorite book of all time.

6) If there was one song you wish you had written, what would it be?

7) Was the dress blue and black–or gold and white?

8) What is ONE major goal you’d like to accomplish before 2015 concludes?

9) Which one wins: Sushi or Hamburgers?

10) If you could trade places with anyone for a day–who would it be?

11) Greatest thing you could pass on to your children

And the NOMINEES ARE:

The ArmChair Bigfooter

Anntogether

Lynette Noni

Thimblerig’s Ark

Confessions of a Readaholic

Explore Newness

Awkward Mamma Adventures

The Abnormal Realm

Jacke Wilson

A Holistic Journey

 It’s Only Three 

Thank you for the opportunity.

Posted in Blogging, Blogging advice, CS Lewis, Music, Reading, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

Liebster Nomination Redux

As soon as I shake the residual, soul-sucking side-effects of work, I might actually dig into Minah’s eleven-questions today.  I don’t want to take it all lightly.

I’m picking up a few followers everyday now.  So now I also feel the pressure to show up and do something.  That’s good. I need the pressure.

If I can shake this surly, antisocial desire to be an angry, seething vacuum–I’ll do it tonight.  Sometimes, I feel like my brain is in a vice–that there is an external pressure on my lobes–driving me out into that halls of BAD BAD pessimism and surliness.

I don’t like feeling  this way.  I’m sure I’ll get over it.  But in the spirit of transparency–there you go.

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Stevie and Ray. Um . . . yeah . . .

Nothing really needs to be said, beyond the fact that I WISH I had been there for this.

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