Mind you, I have two entire binders chock FULL of this kind of nonsense. There’s something about placing the administrative/H.R. departments of various organizations in a reflexive, compulsory arm-bar–they MUST answer. Whether or not they are in the mood to do so is another matter. As you’ll see over time, I’ve managed to trip the entire spectrum. Charmin, “Squeezably Soft” toilet paper took my request for user instructions like a champ. The World Society for the Protection of Animals was a bit . . . um, shall we say pensive about my request for spotted owl farm construction guidelines.
Gear any of these letters correctly, and they have zero idea exactly what of pathological concern lies behind the keyboard of the sender–I could be a crackpot, doing these things in the same fashion I was once tossed from an informal baseball game for throwing a “second pop fly” towards the outfielder: he was confronted with an uncomfortable choice.
Unfortunately, that choice also drew a disproportionate amount of attention to me.
So here, I present to you, a simple salvo that came out of a conversation I was having with my friend, Jesse, who really was going to go in with me on a pound of Kopi Luak coffee until he promoted out of my echelon and became a distant, condescending demigod.
It seems the Seattle bean mavens might have a sense of humor–albeit muted:
And thus, another closed chapter in a book I COULD write, I‘m Not Changing Much, But Boy Do I Have The Right People On Board To Help.